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come what, come may. The official farewell assembly is tmr. Co farewell is on Friday. I have no idea what I’m doing. I have exactly 2 days to write all my letters and make all those presents. At least we’re getting everything and starting tmr. When we went out for lunch after O’s, I realized that in oka I’m the least enthu. Half the time I’m chasing them, one quarter stoning, the last quarter actually doing relevant things. -.- Met my cousin after that and walked all over the place looking for her stuff. Tiring. I’m totally not cut out for shopping. Then we met selene and scribbled our letters to sn in bk. On our way to meet her, realized that zm spoilt the surprise. Help. But I guess it was fun. Now I’ve to complete all sn’s admin stuff, while she flies off happily. Ah. Spent a lot of mugging time on thurs and fri with the ruan sec2s. All because I met vic and she asked me to go. So I ended up getting dragged out for lunch, and then studied in the dyb room while they had dazu. Then helped them to prac yueguang, and made a very weak attempt at changing the score for them. Actually I was alr very stoned. After the lousy 2 hours of chi on fri ended up with zy. As usual. And we stood talking for 45min, right in the middle of the foyer. Then we started on the past. Strange, zy rmbs things by smell. There was once I was on the bus, and I caught a whiff of smth which made me think of the kitchen in India. I was quite amused, cause that made me think of all the stupid things we did, the teachers, everything. Mmm. I thought the perf was at 5, but heard dyg at 2 from the library. All vic said was luckily I’m easily distracted while studying. -.- then we went back for the perf at 5, and I went to the backstage area to watch. Bar 17 was amusing, as usual everyone gans, until I could hardly hear the notes. Then we watched the Keralites’ perf, nice. I rmb how it was last yr, going everywhere in costumes, because Mr. tan said it was rare for foreigners to be there, and plenty of schools wanted to have a cultural exchange with us. (: Actually felt recharged after that. Cause that’s just the way it is when I’m with the sec2s. like, haha. And then I truly understood what vic meant. We’re not as emotionally brazen as cg, but there’s no question to us being bonded. I like it how the juniors are so childish yet mature. Worrying about them won’t get me anywhere. But we all need time for them to adjust to their new independence. I’m sure they’ll do fine. Because they’re them. I’ve gone out with a few of them over the past two weeks, including the daji ones. I should be satisfied; we had fun. Sometimes I wonder what it’ll be like next year, simply because a large part of my sec sch life is made up of people whom I won’t see anytime soon. But then, if there’s anything I’ve learnt over the past few years, well. What will be will be. It’s in the simplest daily activities. You find a pair, then worry over which other pair you want to work with. Before you can even decide, the teacher decides for you. You worry over whether to go for a concert because you have a guest perf before that and aren’t sure if you’ll be on time. The day before that you suddenly get chicken pox, you’re free of making any decision. Not very good examples, but my brain’s kind of rotten now. You argue over what to watch, then the projector threatens not to work. Like what mr teoh said, “these things are such that they do not work at times”. A philosopher through and through. Memories are but part of our present. A small but important part that shouldn’t be allowed to rule your present life. Memories are for us to relive on, for us to learn from, for us to draw experiences from. But if you get too absorbed in them, they become a burden. It’s nice to think of someone from your past once in a while, but there’s no use in letting thoughts of a dead person occupy your mind. Then we question why memories this, why memories that. Ah. That’s what I wrote in the paper. Sometimes I have difficulty believing my train of thought in an exam. I rmb in sec2, when we were walking along the beach. When we talked about life, and when I said, if everyone knew for sure what they wanted out of life, no one would end up jail. And I wonder how I came up with that. I had the earphones on days ago, and it came to the co part, so mjh started playing. I hadn’t heard it in a long while, so I just let it play. The 04 concert recording, the one which held so much. Having to drag a chair at the last minute because of the backstage people, being conducted by him, slowly but surely bringing a song to a climax, then standing there amidst the claps and cheers, every fibre of your being wanting to cheer, hug someone, cry. The last time I played a zr for mjh. Hlm. The song we wanted to give up on halfway, because all the original love and feeling for it died during practice. The song where we switched freely between zr and dr, because it was easy to do so, and brought a bit of life back into the one which consisted of few measly notes. The song that was almost there. Junma. The one we suffered and got humiliated over. The song the sec1s struggled to learn. The song ym thought would be easy when she heard it was only 3 min, before finding out it was 4 pages long. The hours spent trying to perfect the hsl and rhythm. The rush of feeling during each performance. Do it. Don’t let all the shit we’ve gone through the past year come to waste. And between now and then, Till Friday, then. |
