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2005 Hmmm. Yesterday, 3rd of January 2005, was the last time I~{!/~}ll step into RGS for the first day of school. Reached rather early, since my dad decided to fetch my brother after us. Stepped into school and didn~{!/~}t know what to do, until my sis convinced me to go to my classroom. Surprisingly, I was the first person there. Chose not to go in first, stood outside and waited. A lot of 402 people were quite late, haha. In sec1, I was blur as hell. I guess I didn~{!/~}t really feel much, except maybe for apprehension, and fear. In sec2, I walked in thinking, yay, I~{!/~}m seeing my friends again, since I already had people I was comfortable with in my class. In sec3, last year, I walked in thinking about how I wanted others to look at me. In effect, whether I would change. This year, I walk in feeling.. a wistful kind of sadness, maybe. 2005. We~{!/~}re seniors of the school. We~{!/~}re sec4, we take charge, we have most responsibilities. We~{!/~}re.. I dunno. We~{!/~}re left mostly on our own, left in control. On New Year~{!/~}s Eve, the thought of going into 2005, of being a sec4, struck me as overwhelming. So much more to face. During the cca talk, ms goh mentioned syf. Then suddenly I realized that hey, this is syf year. Just a few days ago everyone was saying that syf was only the next year. And now boom it~{!/~}s in 3 months. I guess the new batch of teachers are okay. Who knows, since it~{!/~}s only our first lesson with them. Walking around, it~{!/~}s weird seeing the yellow nametag batch becoming sec2s. When I became a sec2, it didn~{!/~}t really mean much, since I was still so blur. In 2004, haiying~{!/~}s batch being promoted didn~{!/~}t mean much either; I didn~{!/~}t exactly know many of them. This year it suddenly struck me that our dear sec1s were sec2s. Maybe it~{!/~}s because of the people I know. My sister, Victoria, laoqian, jiaying, laogong, co sec1s, 104 ~{!/~}04. And others, if I~{!/~}ve missed them out. And haha, when we get our new sec1s, they won~{!/~}t be juniors anymore. Have fun. =) On the way to moelc on Monday, almost started laughing in the bus because of what I thought of. I.. didn~{!/~}t exactly think of myself as the most senior yet. So when I saw sji guys in long pants I suddenly thought hey, I~{!/~}m sec4! I mean, girls all wear the same thing. But upper sec guys wear pants. Well most of them. So yeah, that just hit me, which is kind of lame. Back to last year, I did change, in the end. The extent.. can~{!/~}t be measured, but the surface change is obvious enough. From what I was, to who I am. I guess the change mostly came at the start of the year, when we had to take on orientation. From then on, the other big happenings just.. I dunno. Changed me in other areas, I guess. Being a psl, reporting day, orientation, psl carnival, rgco concert, rgco farewell, mega concert, India service learning trip, work experience at mount alvernia, tuition, rgvs interaction. And others. They did a lot to me. Quoting mrs chew, I~{!/~}ll probably never fully recover from those experiences. I think I said this before, but whatever. Haha. And then again, the people changed me too. Haha. Even those who probably think they didn~{!/~}t. like what joohui said, things happen for a reason. I~{!/~}ve grown closer to some people, obviously. But.. that doesn~{!/~}t seem to be happening to those in my class, or level. I mean, yeah we formed nice new relationships, but I don~{!/~}t think it~{!/~}ll ever go back to those I formed in lower sec years. The sad thing is, I realize I don~{!/~}t actually mind being alone now. Not alone in the good way, alone in the weird way. Nvm, I have no idea what I mean. So, a lot happened at the end of the year. From the overseas trip to work ex, to jixun and interaction. I think I can safely say there~{!/~}s been a lot of changes in co relationships, haha. I saw co people the most during the hols. Zr spent a lot of time together, plus we had the chalet. We.. experienced a lot of different things together, influenced each other. I learnt a lot, even about you guys, from all that time. I met others, from laogong to polar bear. And yeah, a lot of co stuff have been happening lately. In less than a year, I~{!/~}ll have to start afresh again, in a new environment. I realize that a lot of people I~{!/~}m close to are not.. going to be with me. But who can say what will happen before the year ends? Hmmm. Haha. laogong if you read until here, hi. =P sorry for all the trouble in the latest.. issues. I feel quite.. mafan -.- thanks lah k ms cute. XP And popeye (sp?).. if you know who you are, crap. I didn~{!/~}t expect all this to surface ha. I know you~{!/~}re excited, but sometimes I~{!/~}m a little worried. So, don~{!/~}t mind me if I go into a daze or what. Mostly I space off only in front of you.. so.. haha. too bad. =) |
